Testimony

My fear that I faced from the last blog was kind of a mix of things, I am not one to speak in front of large amounts of people and two my spiritual journey.  As Christians we are called to get baptized, basically publically proclaiming that we will live our lives to serve God and today I was baptized.  It was pretty crazy and I was incredibly nervous but got through and as the blog you can read my testimony.  There is so much more that I could write and have said but that will be saved for a later date and different blog, I hope you enjoy it J

Hi, my name is Rebecca Giesbrecht, I am 18 and I am here today to publically declare that I want my life to glorify Christ. 

I was born and raised in loud, never boring Christian home by two great parents along with two younger sisters and a younger brother.  One of the earlier memories I have was accepting Jesus into my heart when I was really young in my family room on our old couch with my mom. She was in the middle of getting ready for church and took the time to read Benjamin’s Box with me and after we read the prayer in the back of the book and that was that.  I never really had a very personal relationship with God when I was growing up, I went to church on Sunday’s and pioneer club on Wednesdays until I hit the awesome age of youth.  In grade 7 my first small group was all girls and we would make sure we all fit on one couch keeping us a pretty close group. We stuck together through middle school preparing a great group of friends to go into high school with.  Going from a tiny school of about 180 kids total to a high school where there is that many kids in a grade was really intimidating.  There were a lot of people to meet and become friends with in high school and a few that I chose were not the best.  I didn’t really pay much attention to God or a lot of morals I had been taught as a kid, like don’t lie, I ended grade nine with a lot of broken trust and friendships from bad decisions I had made and now had to deal with the consequences. I was dreading going back to school in grade 10 because I didn’t really know where I stood with my friends and I started school with little desire to be at there but when youth started it was always a highlight of my week.  A new small group was started with new leaders and we were the one of the oddest groups, grade 10 girls lead by a pregnant lady and lone male.  Us girls had known each other for a while and we quickly seemed to click as a group and we have stuck together ever since.  Small group was a great place to be able to talk about God in and do it honestly and that is when I started to build my own faith.  Grade 10 had started off shaky but with an awesome small group and basketball team at school life seemed pretty good, which is usually when something happens. 

Thursday was the beginning of the annual basketball tournament at Collegiate and we had played that morning and before the game that evening us girls had made plans as a team.  When my sister and I went to go tell my mom at the end of school she just told us to get in the car and I though we were in trouble but it was a lot worse than that, my grandmother had suddenly passed away that morning.  It was the worst new I had ever heard.  We got home and our house was the quietest I think it has ever been.  I wanted to just stay in my room and not face anything or anyone but Colleen and I went to the game. The whole team and coaches were really good about the situation and incredibly supportive but we lost in double over time by 1 point and it was just brutal.  One of the coaches was going to give us a ride home and in his car he had a David Crowder band CD which he ended up letting me borrow and was a massive comfort through the next weeks because I was so lost in life and especially with God and two of the songs talked about exactly how I was feeling. Just when I was starting to accept what had happened my best friends grandfather passed away and that is how it continued for the next few months in our small group.  Almost everybody lost somebody close to them but through all of that we all became closer.  Though as a group we were growing closer I was growing really distant from God because I couldn’t understand why when I was starting to get everything together He would go and tear it apart and then make me watch everybody I cared about go through the same thing.  I really started to doubt Him and what He was doing but didn’t share this in fear of peoples reaction.  That year I was able to go to Pitch and Praise and the topic was on doubt and how it is not a bad thing and it is okay to doubt and question God which was an incredible reassurance to me.  I started slowly trying to get God back but felt like I had to earn Him because if I had doubted Him, why wouldn’t He doubt me. One particular small group night in the summer I was leading the group and everybody got distracted and one of my leaders called me out on kind of faking that my relationship with God was better than it actually was which was hard to hear but gave me opportunity to share what I had been going through with somebody else.  Again I started to try and earn a relationship with God because but another death rocked my world when a girl from my class was killed on a mission’s trip.  Trying to understand why somebody who was doing such good for God and His kingdom and He would take her instead of somebody else or me, who wasn’t even sure where I stood with God, was something I couldn’t grasp. Starting grade 11 our small group had grown in size and mix of gender which resulted in a frustrating year of trying to grow in God and not feeling able to open up to everybody. Deciding about what I wanted my future to look like education wise was also a struggle because I wasn’t sure I was good enough for a rowing scholarship or if I should continue trying for nursing all while trying to earn a relationship with God.  There were two main moments when God really got a message through though.  One was Easter of last year, writing something we feared or held us back and literally leaving it at the cross.  My fear was death. Easter Sunday in the video they replaced my sticker with “life” on the cross, it seems really simple but I am not dead yet so I shouldn’t stop living life but I need to decide what I want to live my life for. The second was during a general stressed out day I was dealing with trying to get another job to save for school and missions and ended up yelling at my dad and going to my room. That night before going to bed I checked my email and I had probably close to ten emails of job opportunities that my dad had found and sent to me.  If my dad loved me that much even after I had been really rude and mean to him, I could only imagine how much my heavenly Father loves me.  This year still hasn’t been easy, I regularly struggle with trying to be good enough by the standards I think I should be meeting to please everybody but I have finally transferred from my head to my heart though that God knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper and not to hurt me, plans to give me hope and a future.  I want to give my life to Him and His plans for me and just spread His love.  That is why I am here today, in front of you, to get baptized.

 

I will post some pictures once I get them too J